musings of wrath

This isn’t actual fiction, but a post about some fiction I’d been writing, and why I stopped.

The primary reason? I was not happy with the direction it was going.

Then I realized, I had started something that interested some people.

I apologize for stopping it so suddenly.

There are, much more icky feelings involved, too. But they’re secondary, and rather self-centered:

Other frustrations were involved, one of them related to the livejournal service.

I see more hate than love coming out of the people I care about on this thing, and it bothers me. And I don’t think it should. I know that when I see something negative from someone I care about, I pay more attention to it. No, it’s not masochism (not completely, anyway), but I want to know if I can fix it, somehow. But sometimes, I can’t see a way to fix it. They hate someone I know, and care about, but they have, in many cases, a good reason to be angry at them.

So I’m going to stop using this service for posting about anything other than me,, and I’m simply not going to read rant posts once I realize what they are. Even then, most of my posts will be behind friends lists. I have another place for posting (below).

I’ll post to those I care about.

If you’re in my friends list, it means you said/did something that made me care about you. I only recently started deleting people from that list that have gone away, or changed names.

Certainly, there’s people I hold in higher regard than others, and it’s those I put in an additional category. These are people I trust with my life, because I would put mine on the line for theirs.

There’s a few other friends lists I have. One of them is a game study. (in the political science sense) Another is a gaming group (it has the people I care about that are in that group, or once associated with it).

Most of the hate seems to be coming from that gaming group, oddly enough. I still want to give the company a chance with this new game.

The point is… I don’t plan on posting much anymore, but I’ll try to read more. I’ll comment now and then, when I feel it appropriate, but don’t take it as disinterest if I don’t comment on something.

Not that I don’t want to write. Quite contrary. I just don’t see this as the place for my writing anymore, but more for discussions. The mailing list is dead. Long live the livejournal.

But anyways. Here’s where I’ll be continuing to write it, with input from you, the reader:

Afterworld [mygamefactory.org]

If you’re interested in more about me, then comment below, and I’ll add you to a list.

please add me….

Becca

I really should be sure of what I’m saying before I post it.

but anyways.. you’re already added, have been for quite some time..

thank you hun…I really appreciate it….miss talking to you….

you’ll notice i don’t get in the #cam-ooc channel much.

trying to contact ya hun…..

tsal@arikel.net

LOOK! It’s Silent Bob
*hugs* I agree with what you said about LJ….it’s sad that a place to put ones thoughts and memories has turned into dramaville. I absolutely HATE drama.
*hugs*

Please?

yes, please.

as to rants, i try to always put a subject indicating such is the content.

Yes please, would like to know you better

email me sometime at fairywench@gmail.com

Livejournal’s stopped being a terribly good indicator of all that’s going on in my world and more of a mess of message boards for me, for most of the reasons listed above, but I would still like to stay in touch with you.

well, you’re already on my friends list, so, you’re good to go

*nods* you’re already on the list

already on the list, you should know that by now..

will do

heh.. thanks..

do0d, i gave you back your soul. that counts as a positive… right?

i still havent seen the end of mortal combat.

Diaries, by their nature, are self-indulgent. An anonymous diary in a public forum doesn’t alter the nature of the beast. Well, not much, at least. It lets other people be the voices in your head or the angel an’ devils perching on your shoulder, giving your own some time off. When it becomes known who y’are on lj, through your own solicitation, usually, it can easily become the same self-indulgence, but with an audience. And, when you say your self-indulgent things in the same manner you would in an anonymous forum and expect the same reception - that’s when things go badly. You can’t say the selfish things in your head and expect a group hug. No group hug for the drama llamas.
Such is my two cents.

*hugs*

*hugs*

Miss you

Update the story soon! I was like, “-chwha? arga? That’s it?”. Way to leave a man hanging.

And add me to the list, please.

I started bbsing in ‘94. It hit a brief huge period for a couple of years, and then died. I think there are maybe 20 users on the one I still actively frequent.

No organization or community stays the same. And, without regulation, most of them will eventually become the outward expression of everybody’s worst feelings and realizations…just because that’s what we can’t express in normal society, and because it creates more reaction.

The best thing you can do is encourage or show esteem for somebody at least once a day, and it’s the thing we do least.

Must…stop…cat…from…walking…on…printer…

Erm. The internet quickly becomes about sifting through the garbage, doesn’t it? Which is why I generally don’t post unless I have something to say that I really feel that people might find interesting, or unless I really care to step in.

I try to make sure that if I comment on things, that I fill an empty whole or find balance, rather than joining the masses. Nobody needs yet another voice screaming for blood.

Unless it’s chocolate blood. Mmmm, chocolate blood.

At this point, if you actually post less, that might actually either change to positive posting (you know how wacky negative number math is) or even imaginary. The magical decimal speaks again…

i suppose.

and dude. it’s like, nearly public domain it’s so old.

Oooh…you have LJ! I’m such the LJ whore. Feel free to add me if you’d like.
Susan P.

Oh yeah. I suppose I should ask you if I can add you before I assume it’s ok and go ahead.

done.