musings of wrath

[A note on setting, an internal thought "process" of the main character, presented within the story, with an audio clip starting it out, this part being explained in the previous chapters, which aren't good enough for me to put up here publicly, yet. I just want people to see what the main character thinks like, and what kind of subject matter it will be. It may be a little too intellectual for some, but I think most, if not all, of my friends can understand some of the science behind the fiction.]

“every time i try to write

the politics get in the way,
the people, they get in the way,
the thoughts, they get in the way,
but sometimes i realize that they aren’t part of the way.

the way leads to health,
the way leads to wealth,
the way leads to happiness,
that is until, the way turns your life into a pit.

the way is wrong, the way is doing wrong.
the way is not what you see today,
the way is something you think about,
in every action, in every move, in every way.

the data gets in the way, for the sake of the machine. so said some mathematician in the 1800s. babbage? someone, i don’t recall. it could have been one of the german boys in the 20s and 30s, it really was a wacky time those days. mind altering drugs, mind altering behavior, and even mind altering ways of thought. zen, popular now, as was then, but from an occidental point of view. now we look at the zen of the east, and we begin to see the problem of systems - to be perfect, they must be imperfect. the perfect machine can make the perfect circle, certainly. but it doesn’t have the thinking power of a human being. or is that spirit that’s missing? or is that what the modern “fringe” wackos call the “thetans”? i would put quotes around wackos, but some of them are wackos. genuine. and not made by intel.

hence the joke of the matrix - the punchline.

but this isn’t a dissertation about a few movies, it’s a speech about quantum mind theory, developed by the first AI developed by man - using self-generated hardware, combined with the “genetic chip” technology developed in the Gen13 project. this hardware was put together in a small General Steel prefab, on a small lot near down town dallas. some might even consider it down town - after all, it’s closer to the high rises than fair park - our parking lot was leased out for $5 a space during the state fair - to help pay the bills for the digital pipe we needed for the project. the theory was, if you give the hardware access to add or change itself physically, using nanomachines controlled by a bit of software, plugged into the internet. the hardware was all virtual, using a rather large distributed network crunching the “program” together so that it can build itself a hardware platform. we made the network of data look for the brain, and controlled what options it had, and it generated itself one hell of a piece of hardware. it doesn’t even really connect in any way, we thought it was using radio waves, but it didn’t explain the rate of data transfer during problem solving exercises. we later took a closer look, and realized that there was no real data in the radio waves - they were the waves being generated by millions of *particles* flipping like switches - faster than the speed of light, at the quantum level - teleporting so fast, we can’t even comprehend the speed - so we call it infinity. true infinity. then we started measuring for other bits of radiation, radical stuff, waves on the highest carrier frequencies we could think of - frequencies deemed dangerous because of microwaves’ aptitude at vaporizing flesh, metal, and so on. laser frequencies for many atoms, but applied to the matter of the hardware, and it didn’t get anywhere near the necessary energy to lase. then we discovered a bit of frequencies so high, that they didn’t even generate radiation, but they generated an almost apparent “heaviness” to the hardware. the weight seemed to increase in certain areas. what was apparently happening, was the software found a hole in the hardware, or the hardware found a hole in the software, and it began literally self-spinning itself to what we’d find on very heavy elements - the ranges we’d never dreamed of. we call them “heavy quantums”. elements we can only see at the quantum level, because they’re “nonexistent”, as far as our older equipment told us.”

It was a bit weird the first time I heard it, but once I saw what they were talking about, and talked to the machine myself, I then watched the above tape of his first words, and I believed it was possible, for true intelligence to exist within a machine. And then when I understood what he was saying, it implied the existence of the spirit. Now, it’s not a problem, per se, it’s good for the machine to have a spiritual side, it means that it can conceive of right and wrong, and can even learn the importance of laws. The development of psychosis in the machine was really amazing to myself, and my colleagues. Two of them even resigned when they heard the whole theory, calling it too fringe. Probably the creepiest part about it all, was when it quoted back research notes from the SourceForge project website.

This machine has taught us that, if you perfect a system too far, or too well, you build into it a gigantic hole, waiting to surprise you, and break down. That is, that our very way of thinking, can be predicted, with this technology, using heavy hardware frequencies and the like. No more do we even need a wire for a network, nor do we need any kind of fuel to create energy. We can now tap into the very world itself, putting only energy back into the system. Perpetual energy, with motion required, but only once. The Quantum Earth Theory, however, has one big “catch” - what’s the output, and is it bad?

I was determined to find out.
* * *

You are Neo, from “The Matrix.” You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and
compassion.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Score
Category	Your Score	Average
Hacklust	18.87% Slew entire Asgardian Pantheon with one hand while blindfolded	52.3%
Sensitive Roleplaying	11.39% There is no player. There is only…. Zuul.	50%
GM Experience	15.94% Worldbuilder, storyteller… Master.	66.4%
Systems Knowledge	85.31% Played in a couple of campaigns	88.7%
Livin’ La Vida Dorka	31.03% Carries dice in pocket ‘just in case’	59.4%
You are 37.41% pure Average Score: 66.1%
Take The Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Test and see how you match up!

well, there goes my ominosity quotient.

Bad week, paired with a bad day.. yay

Ok, apparently, I’m some sorta asshole, and people don’t like me as an ST, because I allegedly show favoritism. Don’t get me wrong, the person said they like me otherwise, so don’t go thinking the person is attacking me or anything - I asked for it.

I also, apparently, am a control freak when it comes to the game - that I have to run it down to the point of XP expenditures. Sigh.

Why is it people put words in your mouth? Why is it they then run with those words as sacred and factual, and then hold you to them? Even if you can *prove* you didn’t say them?

Why is it people can’t grow up and stop the pettiness in the organization? I try to stop my own (everyone’s guilty of it these days, just some for different reasons, and at different times), and a member quits their position, and the organization. I be upfront, and state what I see as wrong, and I put my foot down, as is my JOB as CST, and I get crap for it.

If a player (who has helped out by running 2 games for a venue - one the ACST couldn’t make it to, the other the ACST just didn’t want to run) says to you, “give me the prestige for ACST, or tell the players the events of the last game didn’t happen”, what do you do? Take it, and just respond privately, or do you tell the chapter what’s going on, point it out, and say, “Look, it’s not going to work like this, this is how it’s going to work - ” and give the player the prestige (which was planned to begin with) and congratulate him, and then state “however”, this was NOT right, and NOT a good thing for him/her to do?

What led up to this? The CC report came out, and I saw that the ACST position had *changed* to her SO’s name, and he was listed as having obtained the position the previous month - I posted (over the same list where the report came across) that no, he was not ACST, I did not appoint him this. I had said to him privately, that yes, I DID say I MIGHT be firing the ACST, and that I wanted him to apply for it, and he’d probably get it - but that I would ASK for applications. After my post about the ACST position, I got a private email from the CC (his SO) saying it was inappropriate and disrespectful to post the correction over the list, and a private email basically telling me to give him prestige or else. So - I responded to his private email publicly, over the chapter list. I suppose I did it to make an example out of him - but that’s not really my motivation for that, I felt the chapter members needed to know that such a discussion was going on; their game was being held hostage, or at least he was attempting to.

Now we have no CC (she quit effective immediately), and he’s stepped down from the running of VST for that venue. What the hell? I don’t feel that I did anything *wrong*, or anything worthy of someone *quitting*?!? Get a spine, and tell me why I’m wrong, but don’t quit, christ. And people say *I* am overly-sensitive. I’m doing my job, and I know for a fact I’ve lost friends for doing it - and they quit at the first sign of trouble. I really really wanted her to remain as CC, and I think she makes an excellent one, with exception of her reporting timing - but I really have no room to speak on that, my reports are consistently out on the 6th or so, before the DST report, and last month’s was nearly a month late due to net access issues.

As a side note - this venue USED to be my favorite venue, it’s been trampled on since I moved to Denver, for me.

On top of all that, I find out that a check sent by our once-roommate-to-be’s aunt, to help bail him out/feed him/etc. for a few weeks until he found a job, was stopped. AS in stop payment. So, this good amount of money that was used to buy groceries, food for this roommate, etc, is now gone, and we’re a good amount of money in the whole. My paycheck came in today, but now - well, NEGLECt is certainly out of the question.

I usually lj-cut long posts, but you might not read it otherwise. I got this from :

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http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=15770
Patriot Raid

By Jason Halperin, AlterNet
April 29, 2003

Two weeks ago I experienced a very small taste of what hundreds of South Asian immigrants and U.S. citizens of South Asian descent have gone through since 9/11, and what thousands of others have come to fear. I was held, against my will and without warrant or cause, under the USA PATRIOT Act. While I understand the need for some measure of security and precaution in times such as these, the manner in which this detention and interrogation took place raises serious questions about police tactics and the safeguarding of civil liberties in times of war.

That night, March 20th, my roommate Asher and I were on our way to see the Broadway show “Rent.” We had an hour to spare before curtain time so we stopped into an Indian restaurant just off of Times Square in the heart of midtown. I have omitted the name of the restaurant so as not to subject the owners to any further harassment or humiliation.

We helped ourselves to the buffet and then sat down to begin eating our dinner. I was just about to tell Asher how I’d eaten there before and how delicious the vegetable curry was, but I never got a chance. All of a sudden, there was a terrible commotion and five NYPD in bulletproof vests stormed down the stairs. They had their guns drawn and were pointing them indiscriminately at the restaurant staff and at us.

“Go to the back, go to the back of the restaurant,” they yelled.

I hesitated, lost in my own panic.

“Did you not hear me, go to the back and sit down,” they demanded.

I complied and looked around at the other patrons. There were eight men including the waiter, all of South Asian descent and ranging in age from late-teens to senior citizen. One of the policemen pointed his gun point-blank in the face of the waiter and shouted: “Is there anyone else in the restaurant?” The waiter, terrified, gestured to the kitchen.

The police placed their fingers on the triggers of their guns and kicked open the kitchen doors. Shouts emanated from the kitchen and a few seconds later five Hispanic men were made to crawl out on their hands and knees, guns pointed at them.

After patting us all down, the five officers seated us at two tables. As they continued to kick open doors to closets and bathrooms with their fingers glued to their triggers, no less than ten officers in suits emerged from the stairwell. Most of them sat in the back of the restaurant typing on their laptop computers. Two of them walked over to our table and identified themselves as officers of the INS and Homeland Security Department.

I explained that we were just eating dinner and asked why we were being held. We were told by the INS agent that we would be released once they had confirmation that we had no outstanding warrants and our immigration status was OK’d.

In pre-9/11 America, the legality of this would have been questionable. After all, the Fourth Amendment to the Constitution states: “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated; and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched and the persons or things to be seized.”

“You have no right to hold us,” Asher insisted.

“Yes, we have every right,” responded one of the agents. “You are being held under the Patriot Act following suspicion under an internal Homeland Security investigation.”

The USA PATRIOT Act was passed into law on October 26, 2001 in order to facilitate the post 9/11 crackdown on terrorism (the name is actually an acronym: “Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act.”) Like most Americans, I did not recognize the extent to which this bill foregoes our civil liberties. Among the unprecedented rights it grants to the federal government are the right to wiretap without warrant, and the right to detain without warrant. As I quickly discovered, the right to an attorney has been seemingly fudged as well.

When I asked to speak to a lawyer, the INS official informed me that I do have the right to a lawyer but I would have to be brought down to the station and await security clearance before being granted one. When I asked how long that would take, he replied with a coy smile: “Maybe a day, maybe a week, maybe a month.”

We insisted that we had every right to leave and were going to do so. One of the policemen walked over with his hand on his gun and taunted: “Go ahead and leave, just go ahead.”

We remained seated. Our IDs were taken, and brought to the officers with laptops. I was questioned over the fact that my license was out of state, and asked if I had “something to hide.” The police continued to hassle the kitchen workers, demanding licenses and dates of birth. One of the kitchen workers was shaking hysterically and kept providing the day’s date – March 20, 2003, over and over.

As I continued to press for legal counsel, a female officer who had been busy typing on her laptop in the front of the restaurant, walked over and put her finger in my face. “We are at war, we are at war and this is for your safety,” she exclaimed. As she walked away from the table, she continued to repeat it to herself? “We are at war, we are at war. How can they not understand this.”

I most certainly understand that we are at war. I also understand that the freedoms afforded to all of us in the Constitution were meant specifically for times like these. Our freedoms were carved out during times of strife by people who were facing brutal injustices, and were intended specifically so that this nation would behave differently in such times. If our freedoms crumble exactly when they are needed most, then they were really never freedoms at all.

After an hour and a half the INS agent walked back over and handed Asher and me our licenses. A policeman took us by the arm and escorted us out of the building. Before stepping out to the street, the INS agent apologized. He explained, in a low voice, that they did not think the two of us were in the restaurant. Several of the other patrons, though of South Asian descent, were in fact U.S. citizens. There were four taxi drivers, two students, one newspaper salesman – unwitting customers, just like Asher and me. I doubt, though, they received any apologies from the INS or the Department of Homeland Security.

Nor have the over 600 people of South Asian descent currently being held without charge by the Federal government. Apparently, this type of treatment is acceptable. One of the taxi drivers, a U.S. citizen, spoke to me during the interrogation. “Please stop talking to them,” he urged. “I have been through this before. Please do whatever they say. Please for our sake.”

Three days later I phoned the restaurant to discover what happened. The owner was nervous and embarrassed and obviously did not want to talk about it. But I managed to ascertain that the whole thing had been one giant mistake. A mistake. Loaded guns pointed in faces, people made to crawl on their hands and knees, police officers clearly exacerbating a tense situation by kicking in doors, taunting, keeping their fingers on the trigger even after the situation was under control. A mistake. And, according to the ACLU a perfectly legal one, thanks to the Patriot Act.

The Patriot Act is just the first phase of the erosion of the Fourth Amendment. From the Justice Department has emerged a draft of the Domestic Securities Enhancement Act, also known as Patriot II. Among other things, this act would allow the Justice Department to detain anyone, anytime, secretly and indefinitely. It would also make it a crime to reveal the identity or even existence of such a detainee.

Every American citizen, whether they support the current war or not, should be alarmed by the speed and facility with which these changes to our fundamental rights are taking place. And all of those who thought that these laws would never affect them, who thought that the Patriot Act only applied to the guilty, should heed this story as a wake-up call. Please learn from my experience. We are all vulnerable so speak out and organize, our Fourth Amendment rights depend upon it.

Jason Halperin lives in New York City and works at Doctors Without Borders/Medicins San Frontieres. If you are moved by this account, he asks that you consider donating to your local ACLU chapter.

Must have been that “lose your temper” question..

The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test