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Archive for September, 2002
Today’s the 12th anniversary of the day my father died. September’s always been a bad month for me, but so far, it’s not been so bad.
Other than not having a job.
Kat and I are doing great together, I’m not stressed out, and I’ve got a positive outlook. I couldn’t have said that this time of year the past 12 years.
My mother always breaks down this time of year, and I tend to do the same, in my own, private sort of way. Usually I’m quiet, and stay at home. Not this year. I was out of town for my father’s birthday on the 15th, and enjoyed myself. I was out of town all this past weekend, and enjoyed myself.
Tonight, I’m going to do something different. I’m going to remember this date for the good things my father gave me - my life, my stubborness, my morals, my ethics, and I suppose my hair color, too.
I watched some Eddie Izzard earlier, and he said something that I’d thought before, but forgotten since - celebrate the lives of those you’ve lost, don’t mourn their loss. Would you rather people mourn you, or celebrate you?
My life may not be perfect, at the moment, but damn it, I’m happy with who I am, happy with my love, Kat, and happy with my friends. I’ve grown closer to some that I hadn’t expected, and I’ve grown apart from some that I wish I hadn’t, but I’ll rectify that some day.
The one thing that’s always made each year easier and easier to put behind me - the Camarilla, and the ICC in October. I’ve not missed one yet, and once it nearly put me in the poor house making it - not to mention nearly getting stuck in Cleveland.
Here’s to my father, here’s to my friends, and to their friends. May we live long, and celebrate each other when we pass.
What Christopher Walken Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
BOSTON, 1919 - Twenty-one people were killed by a wave of
molasses after a tank filled with the melted sugar ruptured
in the harbor. Over two million gallons of molasses, weighing
13,500 tons filled the tank. The 15 foot wave of molasses
swallowed eight buildings. A reason for the rupture was never
fully determined.
How.. odd.
I haven’t hit the LJ since the end of August or so, and just started going through the Friends page, and saw a lot of posts concerning 9/11.
Usually, on such events, I’ve got a plethora of things to say.
I didn’t have much to say about the just-ending day. If you’re wondering why I say it that way, it’s because I haven’t gone to sleep yet. Yet.
On the 11th, I lost an old friend, he was on the top floor of the three floors that were destroyed by the impact of the second plane hitting the Trade Center towers. We hadn’t talked much, other than the “are you still alive?” emails we sent once every couple of months. I hadn’t seen him since October of ‘96. No, it wasn’t a Camarilla event, for those who might ask, this was before I started gaming. He had his hair long, then, but it was cropped short a month or so before he died, having landed a new job with some financial corporation as their technical lead. His mother was kind enough to send me a photograph.
I wanted to be in NYC today, visiting with old mutual friends and his family, but I couldn’t make it for financial reasons. Even if the temporary job hadn’t ended 2 weeks ago, I wouldn’t have had the stability to make a trip like that.
Harry was one of those guys who didn’t give in to the arrogance that our “circle” tended to fall towards. I’d like to think of myself as the same, but I know I wasn’t always the nicest to be around in that group. To him, however, everyone deserved a shot, and if they didn’t know a subject, they could always be taught. Frustration didn’t exist, to him. The “student” would often give up before he did.
Harry was creative, too. He did some awesome sketch work, from what I’d seen in the past, and I’d asked him before, why he didn’t do it for a living. Not enough money, he’d say.
I’m not faulting his decision, but it’s kind of ironic, really, that it was his desire for a comfortable life that ended it, in a way. If he’d gone with selling or publishing his art, he might not have been in the buildings that day.
On the opposite end, he might have been on one of those planes, flying to LA - one never knows.
Listening to the radio throughout the day, I’m still hearing one thing that was around a year ago - anger. The hate - the bad emotion - has faded somewhat, but lingers with some.
It’s alright to be angry, but hate isn’t necessary.
I’m not religious, but I thought of these words, based on what a good friend of mine, a Muslim, said:
“God, no matter what name you give him, cries equally for all of his children.”
Today, I cried for a friend; today, most of this nation cried for their brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, and even their children.
Let us hope we never have to go through this again.
Someone told me this morning (it’s 3 am, it’s morning), that it’s been a while since they’ve seen anything from me on here..
I suppose.. 
But I don’t really post on here unless I think about it.. So just watch, you might see something here, occasionally.
I think I’m going to start doing more short stories here. That is, when I’ve gotten stumped on the book, I’ll write something far away from what I’m currently writing, to get things going..
I hate the phrase “get the juices flowing”.
In response to someone dissing the constitution because of sore feelings about how the US is doing in foreign affairs and the like, said:
The Constitution and the Flag do not stand for the people in office. They stand for the ideal that everyone is equal. It doesn’t stand for the right of some dumb bitch in a car to sue someone because she was stupid enough to squeeze her legs when she had hot coffee between them — it stands for the right for someone to sue because they were denied a job because of the color of their skin. The President and Congress and all those people have made mockery of the ideal that America was meant to stand for. Don’t hate America for what it’s become. Hate those who have taken their power and used it for their own ends.
Hmm.. indeed.